Children’s Understanding
- Thinking and reasoning is still not fully developed
- May be better able to understand the meaning of physical death
- May want more scientific or detailed facts about the death
- May understand the difference between good and bad, right and wrong
- May understand death based on what they have learned and experienced
Common Grief Reactions & Behaviors
- Sadness, helplessness
- May feel guilty
- May hold back emotions
- May have difficulty accepting the death
- May be concerned about how others will react and treat them
- May worry about how others are coping
- May take on more responsibility than they can handle
- May have changes in school performance (for example, having trouble concentrating, not getting along with others, learning problems, etc.)
How You Can Help
- Give simple and honest answers
- Give permission and encourage your child to talk openly about fears and concerns
- Carefully listen to what your child is saying
- Be ready to talk to your child about what they are thinking and feeling
- Suggest talking to a friend and/or trained professional for example, Child Life specialist, clergy, school counselor, social worker, doctor, or therapist
- Explain that feelings may come and go
- Help them to understand what may be different in their lives without the person who died
- Talk to your child about what will stay the same
- Inform your child’s school of a death so that their school can provide extra support
- Provide supportive resources such as books, journals, and music
- Encourage expression of feelings through writing, drawing, creating memory boxes or scrapbooks, etc.
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